So I decided to rekindle my short-lived reading of a book I started a long time ago – I think sometime before this past summer. It’s called Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. It’s a cyberpunk sci-fi adventure about Hackers and the Metaverse, a virtual reality world that is all too real. Instead of me trying to describe it to you, here’s the blurb on the back of the book…
About The Author
Only once in a great while does a writer come along who defies comparison – a writer so original, he redefines the way we look at the world. Neal Stephenson is such a writer and Snow Crash is such a novel, weaving virtual reality, Sumerian myth, and just about everything in between with a cool, his cybersensibility to bring us the gigathriller of the information age.
In reality, Hiro Protagonist delivers pizza for Uncle Enzo’s CosaNostra Pizza, Inc., but in the Metaverse he’s a warrior prince. Plunging headlong into the enigma of a new computer virus that’s striking down hackers everywhere, he races along the neon-lit streets on a search-and-destroy mission for the shadowy virtual villain threatening to bring about infocalypse. Show Crash is a mind-altering romp through a future America so bizarre, so outrageous, you’ll recognize it immediately.
So there you go. You’re probably still a little confused. So am I. I’m only on page 38. So why the hell am I writing this post?
Ahhh, I was hoping you would ask that. The reason being because on page 37, this is what I found…
“The other girl is a Brandy. Her date is a Clint. Brandy and Clint are both popular, off-the-shelf models. When white-trash high school girls are going on a date in the Metaverse, they invariably run down to the computer-games section of the local Wal-Mart and buy a copy of Brandy. The user can select three breast sizes: improbable, impossible, and ludicrous. Brandy has a limited repertoire of facial expressions: cute and pouty; cute and sultry; perky and interested; smiling and receptive; cute and spacy. Her eyelashes are half an inch long, and the software is so cheap that they are rendered as solid ebony chips. When a Brandy flutters her eyelashes, you can almost feel the breeze.”
I got news for you valley girls. In the future you won’t have to worry about breast implants and boob sizes because you can just log in to a virtual reality version of yourself and frolic around with your man-toy while your chest hits your forehead and your back tries to support your virtual watermelons. What a nice image of the future.
* Book image from GetGlue
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